When They Leave The Party
When they leave the party make sure you are the one they are going home with.
I am not exactly sure where I heard the above statement before but it is a collection of words that I think about often in my life and in business. Let me show you how I break down this simple statement.
Life is busy, distracting, tiring, stressful, etc., etc. but that doesn’t mean we have any excuse to mail it in (aka check out, stop caring, give up). Life requires us to play an active role within it and this especially true if you want anything out of life.
While life is indeed a grind some times it really does ask of us to show up. Again, showing up, really only applies to anyone who wants something from life, if that isn’t you, if you’re set, if you aren’t seeking anything, then perhaps this piece isn’t for you. However if indeed you do wish to live an enriched life with really whatever you want/dream then it’s best that you pay close attention to how you’re showing up day in and day out.
Here’s why.
It is how we show up each and every day, actually, each and every moment, that either strengthens our chances that they leave the party with us, or the opposite, we sabotage any chance we had at all in the first place of them leaving the party with us. Again this is all hinging on your ability and willingness to keep showing up even when perhaps you don’t to or “can’t” (see Won’t).
Before unpacking this even more let me clear up who exactly “they" are. They refers to anyone (or thing) that you have your eye on that you want in your life. This could mean that “they” is a career, a car, a home, a woman, a man, a puppy…you get what I mean. “They” refers to the object (tangible or not) you’re looking to add to your life. Heck, inner peace is even a "they”.
Now that I’ve got you completely confused let me share with you how I apply this to my life most frequently. Where this whole concepts shows up for me the most is within my personal relationship with my partner, Lindsey. Now, while I don’t walk around all day repeating to myself “Make sure she leaves the party with me. Make sure she leaves the party with me.” This is something I really do keep top of mind within our relationship.
Oh and just quickly, “The Party” for me, means LIFE. I want this person (for example) to choose me in their life so that I get to experience them in my life. You could also look at “The Party” as a potential job you really want, therefore you’re hoping that the boss chooses you out of everyone else at “The Party”. Make sense? Let’s see if I can clear this up a little further…
O.k so back to how this shows up for me. Admittedly this doesn’t play a role in my every day life but 5 out of 7 it really does and here is why. By constantly wanting Lindsey to “leave the party with me” I would have to do/be/embody/etc. what? The person that she wants to leave the party with, i.e the person she desires in her life above any beyond anyone else at this fictitious party. The reality is that each and every day Lindsey and I have a choice of who we are with and it is my goal, as I believe it is hers, for each of us to choose each other at the end of the day.
We cannot assume anything here. We cannot assume that just because Lindsey and I have been together for years, have two kids together and the fact that she chose me yesterday means that she’ll simply choose me today. Yet that is what most of us do, and that is so detrimental to any relationship. Assuming will get you in trouble and any history you have with someone should be approached each and every day as irrelevant. The moment get lazy (fat, boring, rude, insensitive, etc.) you only increase the likelihood that your partner will start searching around the party for another more well suited partner. This is a 100% guarantee. The moment you slip consistently you’re truly risking everything you know and love.
So, does this mean we need to be on our best behaviour all of the time?
Yes, yes you do need to be on your best behaviour all of the time. Or at the very least being on your best behaviour must be your daily intention. I mean lets be honest, is it actually possible to be 100% ON all of the time? No. You will have “bad days” you will be the guy at the party that forgot to brush his teeth or has been standing around all night with his zipper down completely clueless. Those things will happen BUT just like life itself it is about bouncing back, getting up to fight another round. As we all know, life isn’t about what happens to (for) us, but instead life is all about how we respond to those things.
So if you’ve had an off day does that mean your partner won’t choose you or you won’t get hired for that job or that you’re a failure? Absolutely not. Perhaps no one even noticed your zipper down all night. But the important part is that you noticed and you’re committed to doing something about it. That level of commitment and self awareness will set you up for success time and time again in every single aspect of your life.
So, how do you ensure that when they leave the party that they leave the party with you? Show up, put your absolute best foot forward, be active, play your part, be yourself and just watch the people/things/puppies that come to you with what seems like so much ease.
If you want something out of life you have to participate, and participate at a level that is going to allow you to stand out amongst all of the rest in the eyes of those who you are trying to catch, each and every day.
