Embracing Authenticity in the Coaching World
I can’t honestly say the last time I said “I don’t know.”
To my fellow coaches, consultants, speakers, writers, influencers, and everyone in the sphere of guidance and inspiration—do you ever feel the weight of the expectation to always have the answers? I certainly do. While physically robust, the mental exhaustion from perpetually being the one with solutions for clients, kids, friends, and partners is real.
I get it; it's our job. We're hired to provide insights and strategies, but let's be real—is it realistic to believe we can be experts in every situation? No, it's not.
Recently, due to some personal realities, I took a step back from sharing on social media related to my business. As I shifted from producing content to consuming it, I noticed something profound. None of the coaches, consultants, speakers, or influencers I follow online ever admit they don't know. Even in areas where I consider myself highly proficient, the reality is, I don't know everything. I was guilty of perpetuating that illusion.
Perhaps I'm not alone in this, but I don't know everything about goal-setting, achieving them, leadership, or business. I don't know everything about anything. It seems like, at times, there's a hubris in the coaching/consulting world, and I confess I was fully participating in it.
Most of us recognize that social media paints an idealized picture of life (or business). While I'm an optimist, life isn't always about golden retriever puppies, hugs, kisses, and brand new sports cars. Sometimes that puppy is pooping in your gym bag, and sometimes you don't have the answer to a client's question. And that's okay. That's expected. That's normal.
I'm here to admit that I only know what I know, and that's liberating. For a long time, I positioned myself as someone with all the answers. Letting go of that facade is incredibly freeing.
What I do have is a high level of confidence in my abilities, the lessons I've learned, and my genuine desire to help others. Helping others is at the core of what I do. It's my ultimate "why." But that doesn't mean I'm here to help every single person, and it doesn't mean I need to pretend that I can.
In the last 5-6 weeks, I've learned some of the most impactful lessons of my 41 years so far. If I keep trying to please everyone, appeal to everyone, and offer answers for everyone, I will ultimately show up for no one.
This post isn't a Jerry Maguire-esque reflective piece. It's a permission slip to myself that it's okay to be a coach with massive aspirations and a wild vision while accepting that there will be moments when the most honest and helpful response is, "I'm sorry, I don't know."
